Weather at our
destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them
fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your
money, more than Southwest Airlines."
"Last one off the
plane must clean it."
Heard on Southwest
Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant
came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are
thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the
pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the
asphalt!"
Another flight
Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain
seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
terminal."
After a real crusher
of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and
Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have
brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the
tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door
and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the
terminal.
Part of a Flight
Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with
us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the
skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US
Airways."
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